HeartSpeak

Perceptions of Who we Are

2009-06-10T21:59:00.002-05:00

In these challenging economic times, I'm noticing a pattern that breaks my heart. We have become a society of human doings, instead of human beings. We don't notice it so much when everything is going well and there's so much to do that we meet ourselves coming and going. But as people have lost jobs and are faced with possibly losing "stuff", there is a common theme. We have become so caught up in what we do and how much we have, that we have lost the sense of who we are. We are NOT what we do. Being is about WHO we are, not WHAT we are. We've got it all backwards. Is it more important that your child has the latest phone or that they have wonderful manners and know how to treat people with respect? Is it more important that you are at the top of your game or that the people coming up behind you admire and respect you for your kindness and grace?

I've been learning about core values. I always knew pretty much what I believed, but never really put it into words. Just recently I've started trying to put on paper who I want to be, who I want to be remembered as. It's harder than it seems. We tend to put our worth in what we do. I'm a singer...that's what...not who. I'm a blogger....that's what I do, not who I am. I'm a speaker, once again..a what...not who. I recently came across, in my files, a great exercise that I found many years ago tht has helped me start this process. Pretend that you have reached the end of your life...ripe old age of 90 and it's your memorial service. Many people have come to this service and are coming forward to say things about you. What kind of things do you want them to say? He was a great boss, a good mechanic, sure knew how to play golf? She was a good teacher, had beautiful hair, had wonderful style.....those are all nice things, but what does it say about who you were? NOTHING. I want to be known for the love I have for people. For the graciousness and compassion that I pray daily will permeate my life and spill over into others. For wisdom and understanding and the impact that I make everywhere I go, in everything I do. I want to be more of a WHO that shows up in the WHAT I do.

Be blessed.

Back Again!

2009-02-22T22:19:00.002-06:00

I stepped away from blogging for a few weeks, trying to decide if I was ready for a proper website, or if I wanted to change to a different blog site or wanted just to change this one and take the next step in the evolution of life. I decided to continue with this one, honing my writing, focusing my thoughts and surrending to the growth process.

Isn't that the way life is? Constantly changing and evolving, causing us to either stagnate for a while or choose to stretch and grow? Since the beginning of the year I have been challenged and stretched on every hand. Sometimes wanting to go into my room and shut the door and never come out, but more times surrendering to the life lessons and accepting that change is needful, necessary for our growth and higher purpose.

So many things to do, to discover, to say. Oh well, tomorrow is another day! For now, good night and may the angels of the Lord encamp about you and keep watch as you sleep.

Blessings.

Leaving a Legacy

2009-01-22T21:38:00.002-06:00

Yesterday I attended the funeral of the father of a friend of mine. I've known this family for a long time, but I have to say that I learned a lot more about this man in one hour than I did in a lifetime. I literally saw, in action, the true meaning of leaving a legacy. There is a lot to learn from his example.

In one short hour I listened to his family and friends talk about their memories of him. I watched his grandsons make us laugh and then weep as they relayed precious memories they will treasure for a lifetime. The time that he spent with each one of them, the lessons that he taught them, the memories made were a priceless gift that they will be able to pass on to their children and grandchildren. I heard his friends talk about what an impact his compassion, wisdom and sense of humor had made on them. It wasn't just a "let's be nice because he died" tribute, it was heartfelt and real and you knew he was deeply loved and truly made a difference in his lifetime.

While I don't have children to leave a legacy for, I have sisters, nieces and nephews and friends that I have the chance to make a difference for. There is an entire world out there looking for someone to accept them just as they are and love them, to make a difference, to make the invisible God visible. Just because we are not on the world's stage or in constant limelight or recognized as a great oracle, does not mean that we are not making a difference in people's lives and building a legacy that will be seen and felt for generations to come. It is our purpose, it is our gift......to pass on the wisdom and the love that God has shared with us.

Be Blessed.

Rare Treasures

2009-01-10T20:25:00.004-06:00

Most people do not know how valuable they really are. How does that old saying go? "No one is indespensible....everyone can be replaced". Well, the truth is, no you can't. Each of us are one of a kind. Uniquely created as individuals, with our own personalities, gifts, abilities, quirks and even weaknesses. You are the only one of you. There will never be another exactly like you. And that makes you irreplaceable. It also makes you extremely valuable...a rare treasure.

Sadly, many people do not understand or appreciate their value. They are convinced that they are stupid, that they will never be good enough, that life will never be better, that they will never be anymore than they are right now. So many people think they have no talents, no gifts to share. They are stuck, hearing the same old negative tapes over and over again.

There is a passage in Marianne Williamson's book "Return to Love" that reads as follows:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

I love this passage. Every time I start to doubt myself or feel bad about my life, I read it over and over until my heart once again knows that I am truly created by God with purpose and passion and gifts to share with the world.

So when you are feeling extremely unappreciated, or less than, or lonely, stop and take the time to reflect on just how special you really are. You are a rare treasure.

Blessings.

Three Words

2009-01-09T19:34:00.003-06:00

Right now I am participating in a great program with the National Speaker's Association called ProTrack. It's a year long mentorship for speakers and wanna be speakers. While I have been teaching Bible Studies and speaking to women's groups for years and also teaching and writing for Administrative Assistants for years, I am now working on moving into the arena of Motivational Speaking. It is both challenging and exhilerating at the same time. Plus the fact that I am also studying for my certification as a Life Coach and it's a whirlwind! Setting goals and making plans to move forward is all part of the plan.

Today, my mentor, Karen McCullough, issued a challenge on her blog (http://www.karenmccullough.com/) that took me ALL DAY, but once done, it has left such a sense of accomplishment and freedom. Everyone tries to make new year resolutions and set goals to accomplish each year. And for a lot of us, that lasts at least a whole day!!! By the end of the week for sure, the resolutions are down the drain and the goals aren't far behind. Karen challenged us to come up with THREE WORDS that would best describe the goals we wanted to accomplish this year. WOW.....only 3 words????

It took a little while, but I was finally able to come up with my 3. (And since I am also listening to a series by Bob Proctor, who encourages you to write down the dreams you want to see come to pass this year), I made some notecard size signs to be on my wall at work, my mirror at home, in my journal and next to my bed, so that I can see them every day.

Healthy--it reminds me that one of my biggest goals this year is to get healthy. Eat healthy, walking, stretching, finding good energy.

Focused--reminds me of the things that are important for me to be laser focused on this year. I want to get healthy, finish decorating my house, finish my book, get my website up and running, find 5 new clients to coach and complete the work t0 move into my speaking career.

Productive--reminds me to watch for the time stealers that rob me of the fruit of all that Focus!!!

Knowing and seeing these 3 words all around me also focuses my morning prayer and affirmations. They keep me in tune physically, mentally and spiritually. Such a simple process, but deeper than I could have imagined. I am excited about this year and all of the promise and adventure that it holds. And it takes me back to one of the scriptures I have committed to memory for this year....."God is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than I can dare to dream or ask for!" I've given Him something to work with and He has promised that His word does not return void!

Thanks, Karen, for the challenge. You have given me a priceless gift.

So! What are your 3 words?

Great Anticipation

2009-01-04T22:35:00.002-06:00

I am so looking forward to this year! 361 days waiting to be experienced, filled with challenges, adventures and expectations. Four days have already passed and were used to rest, relax and get recharged! Now, I'm ready to move into the new year and see what can be accomplished! I'm working on a new vision board, new life-affirming declarations, making a list of the books I want to read this year, planning special projects and on and on. But as I am making all of these plans, there are 2 scriptures that I want to base everything on:

Proverbs 16:9 says "In his (her) heart a (wo)man plans his( her) course, but the LORD determines his (her) steps.

And then Ephesians 3:20 (Amplified) says "by the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]

Isn't that fabulous? We can afford to dream BIG! Dream outside the small box we live in, dream beyond the realms of the ordinary! I truly believe that as we submit our plans to Him, He sees the desire of our heart and he causes those plans and desires to come into agreement with His will. I can't wait to see how 2009 unfolds!

Here's to the new adventure!!

The Value of Friends

2009-01-03T15:39:00.005-06:00

For a long time in my life I had very few friends. I had such a wall built around my heart that it was hard for anyone to get close to me. But over the years, as I began to be healed emotionally and spiritually, my heart begin to open up.

Today, I am so blessed to have a boatload of friends. Some are friends that I see occasionally--but we are so connected that we always pick up right where we left off, some are friends that I work with, some I have more of an email relationship with, and some are forever friends. They are all treasures in my life and I value each one of them.

But, I have to tell you that the most priceless friends I have are 3 women who I have known my entire life. When we were kids we were all friends, part of the same youth group, same teen scene, etc. As time went by we all went our seperate ways and life happened. In the past 2-3 years, God has allowed us to reconnect and become "joined at the hip" almost. We are connected in ways we never thought possible. We have a lifetime of experiences between the 4 of us and we know each others ups and downs, the junky stuff, the not so nice stuff and all the good stuff. We can talk about anything and everything and we usually do. We can laugh at each others weaknesses and strengths and no one gets offended. We can tell each other the truth and take it. These kind of friends are priceless. You know they will go to the wall for you. They will stand by you no matter what happens. And a really great extra gift is that all of our husbands are friends and fit in equally as well, when we let them!!!! It has become a priority in our lives to make sure we spend time together every month. I come away from our times together feeling rejuvenated, valued, affirmed and loved. It is a wonderful gift.

I hope that all of you who read this blog have at least one friend that is a priceless treasure. If not, begin to look around at the people that surround your life. Who can you befriend and become that kind of friend to? One thing I've learned is that you can never have enough friends. They are part of the sweetness of life.

Be blessed.

It's Magical!

2008-12-10T21:50:00.002-06:00

I've been out in the weather this evening. Who knew it would snow in Houston, today???? It was already dark when I left the office and Glenn and I had to make a quick run to Williams Sonoma to pick up a gift. It was MAGICAL, driving down Westheimer, seeing all the Christmas lights and seeing the snow flurries in the glow of the lights. There was Christmas music playing on the radio and it was absolutely one of those perfect moments.

Life isn't perfect. Never will be, but as we learn to live in the moment, there really are perfect moments, perfect days, and sometimes even perfect weeks. Tonight we had one of those perfect "Christmas" moments that turned into a few perfect hours.

Now, I'm snuggled up in my bed, with a cup of hot chocolate, listening to Andrea Bocelli, Josh Groban, Michael Buble and other fabulous singers pay tribute to one of the best, David Foster on our PBS channel. The perfect end to a perfect evening.

My Christmas wish for all of you is that you find those special Magical moments that come your way. Blessings.

Thoughts of Home

2008-12-04T22:10:00.002-06:00

My sister, Karen, wrote about our mom in her blog today which started me down a path of thinking. A dear friend of mine buried her mother this week and as I listened to the comments being made about her, during the funeral, it made me wish I had known her. She loved flowers and vegetable gardens. She loved cooking and having her family around her. She was a true matriarch. Her children loved her dearly.

My mother was like that. She loved beautiful things and always went out of her way to make sure our home was decorated to the best of her ability. Which didn't always mean monetarily. My parents were church planters and started several new churches when we were growing up. Which meant that there wasn't always a lot of money to be had. But my mother knew how to stretch a dollar and make a little bit of money seem like a lot.

She started family traditions within our family that we carry on to this day. Every year, on Thanksgiving evening, the Christmas decorations came out. Christmas music filled the house as we put out the Nativity Scene, decorated the tree and looked at old pictures. Then came the baking. One of my favorites were the pecan sandies. Moon shaped cookies full of pecans, coated in powdered sugar. My dad's birthday is Christmas eve and we always had a special dinner that, evening and Dad got to open a special present....just for his birthday. Even after we were all grown, Christmas Eve was the one night we all tried to be in the same place. Now that everyone is married and has extended families, it is not always possible on Christmas eve, but we still make sure that, when we do get together for Christmas, Dad has "special presents" just for his birthday.

When you lose a parent, you lose a sense of security that you never knew you had. But they really do live on in your heart and in your memories. You see them in your siblings and even in your children. You hear that particular laugh, or see those hands, (in our case--feet!) or those eyes. And though time does heal and most of the sadness subsides, there is always a secret longing to have known them better, to have understood their lives. And once again, there are thoughts of home.

Countdown to Christmas

2008-11-29T19:14:00.003-06:00

I love this time of year! October - December are absolutely my favorite. I'm not sure if it is because I was born in October or just because it is full of wonderful memories, great holidays and (most of the time) cool, crisp weather! At any rate, the past few days have been wonderful. Yesterday we spent the day cleaning house and cooking. My dad and Shirley (our wonderful stepmom) came to dinner and we so enjoyed having them here. It was a good day. Today we were lazy, cleaning a little bit here and there, watching Christmas movies, just having a leisurely day. Karen and Jake came by so that Karen could teach me a few things about Facebook and sprucing up my blog page. There is so much new technology and I am so behind on it!!!! There is always so much new stuff to learn and I can't seem to learn fast enough!!!!

Christmas is such a special time. I don't agree that Christmas is just for kids. I think it can be special for adults too. Glenn and I don't have children of our own, but we have brothers and sisters, neices and nephews and tons of friends. I love buying presents for as many people as I can, having people into our home to share good food and conversation, going out to look at Christmas lights, watching Christmas movies (we are Christmas movie fanatics), baking (and giving most of it away!!!).....and even participating in the Christmas programs at church. It's busy, even hectic, but it's wonderful!

I'm looking forward to this special time. May I encourage you to do the same? Let this month be a season of love and giving. A season to reach out and share your life with others. A season to shine the light and the message of Christmas!!!

Thanksgiving Day--A Lot like Life

2008-11-27T22:25:00.005-06:00

Today is Thanksgiving and it has been a glorious and disasterly day! Started out great this morning. Woke up about 8, had a leisurely breakfast while we watched the parade, put sweet potatoes on to cook and started making desserts. That's when disaster struck! First thing--I spilled an entire box of dry chocolate pudding onto the floor. Who knew dry pudding could make such a mess. Got that all cleaned up, got out more chocolate pudding and starting opening a can of milk. The can slipped out of my hand and yes I did.....I spilled a whole can of milk on the floor. What a mess. We found the dry pudding we missed in the first clean-up while we were cleaning up the milk!!!! I was so frustrated that I was ready to call my sister, Karen, and tell her "forget it! We are not coming to lunch!!!" But I didn't. I got out more stuff and finished the desserts and then rushed to get ready and we made it to Karen's house just in time for a fabulous feast! And we had a wonderful time, sharing a meal with friends and family. God is so good and I am so thankful for His abundance.

Isn't this just like life, though? We have wonderful moments, sometimes even perfect days and then there are those times when life is so messy you think you will just give up and run away. But the truth of the matter is this: if we can just hold on through the messy, imperfections of life, they pass....(some moments do take longer than others!). And when they do, we find so much more to be grateful for. Our families, our friends, good conversation, times of sharing....living our lives as God meant for us to live them. With an attitude of gratitude and thankfulness.....even in the middle of our mess.

I hope that you have had a wonderful day and I send blessings to all of you who read my ramblings!

Aha Moments

2008-11-20T21:33:00.004-06:00

God's grace is such an amazing gift. He really never gives up on us. I over analyze everything. I mean ev-ry-thing! And then I drive myself crazy, still trying to figure things out. But God, with His wonderful grace (and longsuffering!) always puts someone or some thing in my path that forces me to think things through...to see the truth of the matter. I've been struggling with a new path...a new door that is opening for me....tearing myself apart trying to figure all the angles, trying to anticipate reactions....steel myself for rejection.....today my friend Brent put it all into perspective for me with one simple truth.

He told me the story from "The Great Divorce" by C.S. Lewis, about the man who was trying to get into heaven. He was standing at the gate and two very large angels stood before him, barring his way in. They said to him, "you can come in, but you can't bring that." "That" was a very large lizard that was attached across his body, from his head to his knees. The lizard had been there a very long time. So long, in fact, that it had attached itself to his body. It had literally become a part of him. But, only he could go into heaven. He could not take the lizard. He was afraid. Removing the lizard would be painful. It would have to be ripped from his body and would shred his body. But heaven was beautiful and he so wanted to go in. He stood there for hours contemplating his situation. He even tried to start removing the lizard, but when he did, the lizard would begin to scream and dig it's talons into his body even deeper. His body was wracked in pain and bloody. Finally, he could stand it no more. The desire to go into heaven became so intense that he wrestled the lizard away from its grasp on him, threw it to the ground and pounded and stomped until it was dead. The minute the lizard died, it became a beautiful white steed with wings. The man was able to climb up on the beautiful steed and fly into heaven.

As he was telling me this story, I could see that the issues I was struggling with were keeping me from moving into this new path, into this new adventure. Do I want to keep hanging on to old negative tapes and old issues at the risk of losing this new opportunity? Or do I want to take the leap away from the junk, step off of the ledge and trust that I will fly? I want to fly. I want to get so far past the old stuff...leaving it so far behind that it will no longer have any influence over me at all. It is all I have ever dreamed of.

A couple of hours later another friend sent me an email from Sojourners and I discovered Eugene Cho. Check him out at http://eugenecho.wordpress.com A young Asian pastor who is changing the world around him. Stepping out of the box, meeting people at their point of need. An awesome young man who speaks his mind and doesn't worry too much about what other people say.

I want to be like that. I want to be all that God has created me to be, unafraid of what people think or say. I want to step off of the ledge, be who I am, living my life so that the "invisible God is made visible" to the world at large. And once again, God's grace abounds. Covering me in the assurance of His love and His belief in me. After all, He created me......in His image. He knows what I am capable of because He put the gifts and abilities there, I didn't. I just have to keep reminding myself that my steps are directed. That I can trust Him to lead. I can step off of the ledge and trust him to help me soar.

Thank God it's Wednesday

2008-11-19T21:20:00.005-06:00

This has been such a challenging week! Sometimes it is just hard to be present in each moment and to enjoy every minute of the day. Several years ago I heard someone talk about how it was such a shame that we literally lived from week-end to week-end, missing all the wonderful moments in between. It really stopped me in my tracks and made me more conscious of every day. But there are still weeks when I am so busy and there is so much happening that I literally just get on auto pilot and wish for the week-end! This is one of those weeks!

When I get really busy, my desk tends to pile up and once that happens I am on overwhelm. I don't work well with chaos all around me. It blocks the creative track, my brain rebels against me and things are in danger of falling through the cracks. And when that happens, it forces me to stop and create order so that I can function properly. Once order is restored, my brain is happy, my mind settles down and things come together. I can think again, the creative process starts to work and all is well!

This tiny little issue is just more proof, for me, that we were created by God, not some 'big bang' theory. We were created to function best where there is order. Think about how He created the world around us. In one of the translations of the Bible, in Genesis. it says that He "brooded" over the face of the deep. To me, that means He thought about it, He planned it out and once He had it all sorted out in His thoughts, He began to create. First, He called forth light, and separated the light from the dark. Then He separated the land from the water. He was creating order.....just for us. When things are in order, we feel better about ourselves and life just seems better.

Tomorrow is Thursday. A great day to be alive, to be in the moment, to enjoy the journey. I'll work on creating order at my desk again, tomorrow.

Directed Steps

2008-11-14T16:13:00.004-06:00

Most people do not like driving and really don't like spending time in traffic early in the mornings. I absolutely love it. I have a whole hour to sing, meditate, pray and confess the Word over my life. I am a firm believer in the power of our words and that what we say has a lot to do with how our life goes. One of my daily confessions is that God causes my thoughts to become agreeable with His will and that He directs my steps.

When I look back over my shoulder at the foot prints behind me, I can see so clearly how He is directing my life. How that as I am surrendering my path to Him, it becomes a fascinating adventure. The people that I have met over the past several years and the opportunities that have opened up for me are totally amazing.

Through a series of events (more about this story later) this year I was accepted into the National Speakers Association's Pro-track class. This is a class for new speakers and it lasts for a year. Karen McCullough (http://www.karenmccullough.com/), our leader and mentor has so much passion and energy and she pours it into us willingly. The resources and information that she has shared with us is priceless.

This past Wednesday I spent the day with Jon Gordon (www.jongordon.com). I met him a couple of years ago when he came to speak at an event I coordinated. A few months ago I invited him to come back to Houston and speak to Texas Children's Employees. What a day! For 2 days he literally poured his heart and soul into us. AND, on Wednesday evening he spent 2 and a half hours with my Pro-Track class, spending time with each of us, talking about the speaking business and helping us laser focus on where we want to go.

Directed steps. A life that I have dreamed of for more years than I can count is beginning to open up and come true. My thoughts and my words becoming agreeable with His will.....the ride of my life!!!

Being Authentic

2008-08-06T19:57:00.004-05:00

Learning to be authentic---to be who you truly are--takes a lot of work. We are shaped, from the time we are born, by the thoughts, opinions and emotions of others that settle deep into our subconcious. Our perceptions of those experiences are ours alone, but those perceptions are what create the person we become. We learn to hide behind masks and we build walls and try to hold ourselves to a standard of perfection that quite literally does not exist. We do this because we want to be accepted, loved, to believe that we matter, to somehow be significant. And all the while we are miserable, constantly struggling for approval that never quites fills the void. What we don't realize is that in trying to live our lives based on what other people think, we subject ourselves to the thoughts, opinions and emotions of people who are dealing with their own stuff! It is a never ending cycle!

The truth of the matter is this--we were each created by God himself...the creator of time and space....the creator of the Universe, in all it's majesty. And we matter to Him, just as we are, with all our imperfections, flaws and weaknesses. He sees us as He created us...brilliant, gifted, perfect.

First Blog

2008-08-03T20:12:00.000-05:00

Friends have been encouraging me to blog for a while now. I wasn't really interested until my step nephew, Timo, who lives in Malawi, Africa came down with Meningitis and the only way we were able to keep up with news of him was through my step-sister's blog. I have literally been glued to her blog for the past week and then started looking at all of the bloggers linked to her and decided that blogging was a great thing to do. It keeps you connected to friends all over the world in real time and that is a wonderful thing.

Please keep Timo in your thoughts and prayers. He is doing remarkably well, but is still feeling the effects of the illness. He is living proof of God's awesome goodness. For more history on his story, check out www.tsmithconroe.blogspot.com. We have a huge blended family that is blessed beyond measure. Nine adult children with spouses and kids make for a huge family and getting us all together at the same time takes an event planner!!! We all get along beautifully and while we don't see each other very often, we all stay in touch and keep up with the goings on of the family, mainly due to my wonderful step mom who keeps us all informed. Shirley does an awesome job at mothering us all.

Since I am new at this blogging thing, it will take me a while to get this page where I want it so if you stumble upon my site, please bare with me!